Running out to pick up flowers on Mother’s Day and what else?

But then I’m snagged by Frances’ essay that I start and can’t s stop (read the prior post from her here)

http://chicagoistheworld.org/2012/05/when-mother%E2%80%99s-day-goes-awry/

It’s about being a mother on mother’s day and the day’s meaning for a mother.

And that takes me in my head to a column this week by a young Columbia College student about her single-parent mother.

It ran this week in Hoy and it also stopped me. What a gift, I thought, to have such voices and voices that connect with your community. And what glue there is when you realize that this page is alive in a way that the best of journalism comes alive.

We need to see this life day after day.

Here’s the essay from HOY:

http://www.readoz.com/publication/read?i=1049418#page24

Let me know if you’ve produced anything on this day or any day that you think makes the same glue apply.

shukran

steve@chicagoistheworld.org

Soon after they arrive, they struggle to adjust. So they seek links with those from back home. And they set up organizations to ease the pain, to renew the bonds and to help start life anew.

Again and again and again, this is the story of new arrivals in Chicago.

Marking a major meeting tomorrow, Saturday, May 12, of the United African Organization, here’s a story written by Ivana Hester,  a Community Media Workshop intern and Columbia College student.

How can you tell this story about your community?

Steve

By Ivana Hester

For many Africans making a new home in America is not easy.

The information needed to start a new life is rarely easily available.

As a result, the United African Organization has posed as a bridge between the gaps. They provide Africans with the resources needed to become successful in their newfound home.

Founded by Alie Kabba in 2005, the group’s Immigrant Family Resource Program has become a vital resource for newly arrived Africans here in Chicago. A 2007 count put the number of African-born residents in Cook County at about 35,000, but Kabba says the number is at least 40 percent larger today.

A Community In Need

The program gives voice to the growing community that was under served, according to Kabba. A survey by his group showed that many new arrivals lack basic information about basic resources, he said.

“The community was highly under served. At least 70 percent of the respondents did not know about the Illinois Department of Human Services,” he said.

“The UAO emerged in a time when there was an unprecedented growth,” he explains, adding that “more Africans arrived with in a decade here than any other period in U.S. history”.

The UAO unites several different African organizations under one umbrella creating a large and diverse community, which has helped create a bond between many different African cultures.

Uniting Africans in Chicago

Since it’s beginning, the organization has developed a number of programs along with a monthly newspaper, the African Advocate, a website, weekly English classes and public education events.

The annual Chicago summit on African Immigrants and Refugee, which has been going on for five years, has been a major way for the UAO to get the word out about their program.

No, they are adding something new to further keep the community connected.

The task has fallen to Tara Weinberg a young South African working for the UAO who has a passion for helping the African people. Her job is to give Africans here a voice as well as help curate their history.

She came to Chicago scholarship for a master’s degree at the University of Chicago. Growing up in South Africa during a time during its apartheid era, she was up fascinated by the idea of rebuilding the country.

She found the UAO at their yearly summit and coming from Africa as well, she says she was looking for some kind of home base.

Telling Their Stories

And so, she began her work with the UAO working on an Oral History Project in which she documents video footage of Africans in Chicago telling their history. The Africans will be featured telling stories about their journeys and explaining how their transition has gone here in Chicago.

She says, “History is important as an educational tool for students, schools and so on, but for history to reach beyond the traditional institutions and for it to become public history and involve the community and get people to think about their past and contribute stories. While also, learning about people within their own community. The Oral History Project opened up the door for people to do that.”

The Oral history Project has now branched off into a even bigger project which includes podcasts to be shared online as well as the video documentaries combined, all of which will be posted on a website for world wide access. This will help unite African’s all over Chicago while also helping the UAO to learn how their organization benefits others and what they can do to improve.

Tara says, “The aim is to raise funds to expand the project to interview a whole spectrum of immigrants across different education and class levels in Chicago.”

The payoff from these projects, she says, is to take it to schools, churches and community associations to educate the public about African immigrants. Hopefully, it will help dispel some stereotypes, she adds.

Ivana Hester is an intern with the Community Media Workshop

from textsfromhillaryclinton.tumblr.com

My twelve-year-old daughter was recently backed up against a wall at school by someone much taller and heavier than her—that classic pose with one hand against the wall behind her head, body leaning into her as he talked, running his other hand through his hair, acting so cool. She did not feel like she was in any danger, but she did not like the feeling of being trapped there.

So back home in the safety of our kitchen, we practiced different strategies for what she could do if it ever happened again. She could push him back with two hands. She could casually take one step away from the wall. She could even point, “Look, over there!” She does not need to make a big deal out of it, but practicing these small adjustments empowers her to discretely shift control of the situation.

I shared this story with the very cool Lisa Lee, a former publisher of Hyphen Magazine and co-founder of  ThickDumplingSkin.com, then peppered her with awkward and inappropriate questions.  She works with young Asian Americans on issues of body image and self-esteem. Together we worried about young women finding themselves, staying safe, having fun, demanding to be treated with respect, and cultivating their characters. It is not easy, especially with all the different messages they get. There is a fine line between sexy and slutty, free-spirited and cheap, nice and taken advantage of. We like to think we can navigate that line with spirit and style, but as this perfectly titled article in Jezebel says, “People Are Terrible, So Stop Putting Your Boobs on the Internet.”

Figuring this out may be more complicated for Asian American girls and women because they live at such a crossroads of different stereotypes and expectations—for Asians, Americans, Asian Americans, Asian American girls, Asian American women, girls and women, daughters, partners, etc.— many of which are contradictory. Talking about race is not enough, nor is talking about gender. We need to talk about both. In addition, parents may not want to talk about it or may not know how.

So here are some of the messages with which I have started bludgeoning my teenage daughters as they start looking towards college:

• Finish your education first.
• Protect your reputation.
• Protect and monitor your online identity.
• Watch your drink. Do not get completely out-of-control drunk in public.
• Always travel with a friend and watch out for each other. Always let someone know where you are and who you are with. Keep an eye out for escape routes before you need them.
• Be aware of how others may perceive you. Do not let their misperceptions drive you, but understand that sometimes people never get past the mask or stereotype they perceive. Sometimes these stereotypes can be used to your advantage. Other times you have to project the “real you” twice as loudly to overcome the mask.
• Do not do the opposite of what your parents say just to be contrary. They may be old and out of touch, but they want the best for you. Try to understand.
• Learn self-defense, martial arts, or dance. Walk briskly with your head held high. How you carry yourself goes a long way.
• Do not worry so much about being nice, rehearse those responses that you find embarrassing.
• From Lisa Lee:  “Be with someone who makes you happy.”

Then, as if on cue, Texts from Hillary Clinton to the rescue. Wow, is she badass. I want to be badass like that when I grow up.

I love learning from our feisty elders. Mary Kamidoi of the Japanese American Citizens League recently spoke at my daughter’s high school about her experiences during the Japanese American internment during World War II. She speaks starkly about the conditions, indignities, and costs of the internment, but she follows up with a very strong message to young people to stand up and speak out against bullying and harassment. She has no patience for people who meekly submit “nicey-nicey” because they think it is their culture (gaman in Japanese), and she demonstrates over and over again the strength that grows when one takes the time to speak out and educate others. Total Badass.

Note: Frances is now scheduling fall workshops on “Raising Strong and Confident Asian American Girls” and “Preparing our Children for Racism.”

Frances Kai-Hwa Wang is a second-generation Chinese American from California who now divides her time between Michigan and the Big Island of Hawaii. She is a contributor for New America Media’s Ethnoblog, Chicagoistheworld.org, PacificCitizen.org, and InCultureParent.com. She is a popular speaker on Asian Pacific American and multicultural issues. Check out her Web site at franceskaihwawang.com, her blog at franceskaihwawang.blogspot.com, and she can be reached at fkwang888@gmail.com.

Frances Kai-Hwa Wang
photograph courtesy of my daughter Margot.

After Indian American Rutgers student Dharun Ravi was convicted of bias intimidation, I sent the very long New Yorker article about the case to my teenagers so that they can understand what kind of digital footprint they leave whenever they do anything online, and to remind them that regardless of what they might actually be doing, they need to be aware that sometimes those actions may be perceived quite differently by others, including people who do not understand technology and culture, including people with power.

Although I agree that homophobic bullying should not be tolerated, because of the technical complexity of this case, I cannot shake the nagging feeling that had Dharun Ravi been white, or if Tyler Clementi had been a person of color, this case might never have been prosecuted, and certainly would not have been punished so harshly (Ravi faces a possible sentence of ten years and deportation). Ravi admits to being a jerk, but there have been too many other cases in which white bullies have gotten away with much worse. Harry Lew. Danny Chen. Phoebe Prince. Vincent Chin. Luis Ramirez. Trayvon Martin.

My heart breaks as I read articles by African American mothers about the rules they make for their children because they know how easily their children could be Trayvon Martin:

• Do not run in public.
• Do not touch anything in a store, and always ask for a bag.
• Be polite and cooperative if stopped by the police.
• Keep your hands visible.

I think about the rules that I teach my children—for both race and gender—and I quickly add a few to my list that I had not previously considered. My children are multiracial, so they might be perceived as any number of stereotypes. They might be perceived as Caucasian, different kinds of Asian, Hispanic, Arab, Native American, foreign, exotic, lotus blossom, both victim and suspect.

• No means no, but never get yourself into a situation where that “No” is the only thing keeping you safe.
• Stand up straight and walk briskly, head held high. Look like you know where you are going. Always walk with a friend.
• Always close and lock the door to the house. Always leave the office door open when talking with male teachers, professors, or bosses.
• Do not dress “too Asian” (except at Asian cultural events) or too sexy (because if anything happens, people will blame you).
• Never use your real information online.
• And most important, always pay attention to the exact words and slurs people use. Memorize them. Write them down. Tell an adult. Stand up for your friends. This one we practice.

I am not only trying to prevent trouble they might encounter, I am also secretly preparing them for the court battle that would follow.

I review constantly because, like these African American mothers, I want these to become habits, so that they will not forget. My teenagers used to be indignant, “You never let me cross the street by myself until I was in sixth grade!” To which I answered, “See? It worked. You didn’t get run over by a truck, which would have hurt.” However, now they tease and reassure me at the same time, by quietly holding my hand as we cross any street.

Geraldo Rivera has been ridiculed for saying that the hoodie was as much responsible for Trayvon Martin‘s death as George Zimmerman [He has since apologized]. Certainly, he is overstating things, and it does not excuse Zimmerman. However, I understand why Rivera might not let his son wear one. Sure, you have the right to wear what you want. Sure, you have the right to be in a public place. Yes, definitely you should work for change. However, you also need to be aware of how some (crazy/violent/racist) people might perceive you. The trick is figuring out how to balance your freedom of expression with protecting your safety. Safety first, my child.

The heartbreak is that these rules alone will never be guarantee enough. I am devastated by the cold murder of Iraqi American Shaima Alawadi, 32, mother of five, US citizen, beaten to death with a tire iron in her own home, with a note to “go back to your country you terrorist.”

Frances Kai-Hwa Wang is a second-generation Chinese American from California who now divides her time between Michigan and the Big Island of Hawaii. She is a contributor for New America Media’s Ethnoblog, Chicagoistheworld.org, PacificCitizen.org, and InCultureParent.com. She is a popular speaker on Asian Pacific American and multicultural issues. Check out her Web site at franceskaihwawang.com, her blog at franceskaihwawang.blogspot.com, and she can be reached at fkwang888@gmail.com.

It talks to its community with news that otherwise might not get told.

Here’s a good example from Extra about passing along information that can change lives. 

Are there other stories like this? Please pass them along.

Steve@chicagoistheworld.org

U-Visa: An unknown answer to many seeking help  by Nayeli Santoyo| trad. Víctor Flores Maria copes with her challenges but they wear her down. She struggles with being a 23-year-old single lesbian mother amid all the worries of being in the U.S. without legal papers. She has been a gang member, a survivor of multiples gunshots, and a user of alcohol and drugs. “No, I’m not happy with my life,” she said. “I have migraines and my hair is falling off because I’m tired of this life.” Maria, whose name has been changed, is just one of the thousands of adolescents in the U.S in this dilemma. They lack the availability to receive financial help for college, a state identification card or the possibility of a getting a decent paying job. Their predicament often affects their mental health. Many cycle from one emotional crisis to another, tumbling along a trail that leads some also to suicide. According to Roberto G. Gonzales, a social service expert from the University of Chicago, these young adults go “from protected to unprotected status, leaving them in a state of development limbo, preventing subsequent and important adult transitions.” As he points out, these youths are prepared from kindergarten to 12th grade to do their best but they face limited options. The Illinois DREAM Act makes Illinois the first state in the country to create a private scholarship fund for undocumented youth, according to the Illinois Youth Justice League, but brings little salvation to Maria. “I don’t get a raise because my employer knows I ain’t gonna quit…can’t get child support because my baby’s daddy is undocumented or an illegal alien as they call us. And that why I’m stuck in the same hole,” she said. “And what hurts the most is to see people that have that one thing I don’t have.” Maria suffered from domestic violence from the father of her daughter who, she said, is a gang member. She sought help, which she hoped would also change her immigration status. “In order to qualify you need to be mistreated by a legal resident. Sucks to be me,” she said. But Maria was wrong. The fact is, there is a U-Visa for women in her situation. There are approximately 10,000 U-Visa’s given every year, giving men and women who have suffered from any crime, including domestic violence, a temporarily legal status and work authorization. Victims must also cooperate with law enforcement officials in the prosecution of their aggressors. After three years of being under the U-visa, the victims can apply for their residency. “[The U-visa] benefits many immigrants who may be unwilling or fearful to come forward,” said Fred Tsao, an official with the Illinois Coalition for Immigrant and Refugee Rights (ICIRR) For more information about the U-visa; go to http://www.dhs.gov/files/resources/u-visa-law-enforcement-guide.shtm source: Fox News

Our Asian American Christmas tree with red envelopes and mini rice bag ornamentsFrances Kai-Hwa Wang | Contributor

Asian American journalist Lisa Ling once said onThe View that as a child she thought Santa liked Caucasian children better than Chinese children because he always left much better and bigger gifts, like stereos, for her Caucasian friends, whereas he only left small gifts, like batteries and toothbrushes, in her stocking.

When I heard that, it was as if I was hearing silver bells. I always got batteries and toothbrushes in my stocking, too. I had grown up thinking that gifts from Santa always had to be small in order to fit inside the stocking.

It was not until I was in my 30’s that I discovered that some people received gifts from Santa that not only spilled out of their stockings, but covered the floor and piled up as high as the Christmas tree. Some people did not even bother hanging up stockings by the chimney with care, as they knew their gifts would be bigger than that. Is that allowed?

My daughter Hao Hao once dressed as a bag of Koda Farms rice for Halloween.Frances Kai-Hwa Wang | Contributor

The doorbell rings. The dog barks. I turn on the porch light, open the front door, and…

No one is there. Then I look down. A package!

Ooh, I was not expecting any more Christmas presents. I bend down to pick it up, and I hear the unmistakable sound of …

Rice.

A box of rice. A very big box of rice. Who would ship me a very big box of rice?

I stagger into the house, the sound of trickling and flowing rice filling my ears, and I put the very big box down on the kitchen table. I look at the label to see who in the world would FedEx me a very big box of rice and smile when I read, “Koda Farms.

A tray of hand-made pineapple mooncakes hot out of the oven.

photograph courtesy of my daughter Margot

Some people also say that this is where the Asian American inventors of fortune cookies got the idea.

Stephanie Chang of APIA Vote helps Little Brother make a mooncake.Frances Kai-Hwa Wang | Contributor

The children and I were thrilled last year to be invited to join some friends at a local nonprofit and help with their annual fundraiser in which they bake and sell mooncakes.

We spent the day together talking and laughing and learning more about each other while rolling out the dough; wrapping big balls of red bean, lotus seed, and pineapple filling; pressing them into carved wooden molds; brushing the tops with an eggwash; then baking the mooncakes under the watchful eye of handsome Eastern Accents owner Ben Sun until they turned a deep golden brown.

Ironically, I first thought of this as a way to help my children learn more about their heritage, to bake mooncakes the traditional way, like “real” Chinese people from China and Taiwan. What we learned was that these days, almost nobody bakes mooncakes the old-fashioned way any more.

Most people buy them from a store, pumped up full of shelf-stable ingredients and baked in a factory. Eastern Accents is the rare jewel where one can find freshly baked, wholesome, hand-made mooncakes. Awesome.

Funny the things we can learn by looking at old things with new eyes and new things with old eyes.

The “Multiple Impressions: Contemporary Chinese Woodblock Prints” exhibit at theUniversity of Michigan Museum of Art through Oct. 23 similarly takes an old tradition and showcases “the extraordinary innovations, in both technique and conception, which have transformed this long-established art form in recent years…. [and] provides an important framework for understanding both contemporary art from China and contemporary Chinese society.”

The Moon Festival is also a love story about a family separated by circumstances — the beautiful fairy Chang Er lives on the moon and her husband Hou Yi the heavenly archer lives on the sun — who come back together again this one night every year. It can be a story of power, greed, impetuousness, sacrifice, responsibility, love, or foolishness — depending on how you tell it.

On this somber tenth anniversary of 9/11, my hope is that the Moon Festival themes of family unity and togetherness cast their light across our nation to help us get past the Islamophobia and race-baiting to come together again, and in the process, better understand each others’ cultures, histories, perspectives.
Note: On Wednesday, Sept. 21, 6-8 p.m., Frances Kai-Hwa Wang will be teaching a course through Rec and Ed at King School about the Chinese Mid-Autumn Moon Festival, which takes place on Sept, 12 this year. The course will feature the great mooncakes of Eastern Accents, a Chinese paper cutting craft, stories, history and tradition. (Appropriate for all ages, but children must be accompanied by an adult).

Frances Kai-Hwa Wang is a second-generation Chinese American from California who now divides her time between Ann Arbor and the Big Island of Hawaii. She is editor ofIMDiversity.com Asian American Village, lead multicultural contributor for AnnArbor.com, a contributor for New America Media’s Ethnoblog, and a contributor for Chicago is the World. She is on the Advisory Board of American Citizens for Justice. She team-teaches “Asian Pacific American History and the Law” at University of Michigan and University of Michigan Dearborn. She is a popular speaker on Asian Pacific American and multicultural issues. Check out her website at franceskaihwawang.com, her blog at franceskaihwawang.blogspot.com, and she can be reached at fkwang888@gmail.com.